Palming and Thumbing - Thai Massage Course

Tired of the hustle bustle of the big city? Is the traffic and constant noise too much for you? Why not escape to a rustic hilltribe village in the North of Thailand? Anyone who thinks the countryside is quiet clearly hasn't been to a Lahu village. The roosters started crowing around 3:30am. By daybreak, barking dogs and pigs grunting under our bamboo hut let us know it really was time to get up. (6:30am) Daily public announcements of some sort were projected through loudspeakers. (What was the voice saying? "And the prize for the most attractive chicken goes to...Pon Chit for his plump grey hen." We never found out.) The day was punctuated by the village clock which played a different tune for each hour. And less quaint, the kids' heart-stopping firecrackers.

But before long we grew accustomed to the noise and became endeared to village life. The people in the shop were always happy to cut up a pineapple for us. We went there daily to buy snacks of fried broadbeans, tiny banana muffins and a sort of peanut-brittle Peter particularly enjoyed. We washed our clothes in the open air on a cement slab, kneading them with our feet as the women do. The animals were mostly free to roam as they pleased and provided endless entertainment, particularly the little 'uns. Puppies played in the dust, chicks hopped after their mothers and piglets of all sizes snuffled the ground for nourishment.

However we didn't come to the village to relax. Our purpose was to learn the basics of Thai yoga massage in twelve days. I for one had no idea what I was in for. For the uninitiated, the philosophy of Thai massage centres around ten sen, or energy lines and the aim is to bring them back into alignment. Practically speaking this involves pressing palms and thumbs into the patient's flesh and bending them into a lot of yoga-style stretches. It is technical and complex. I struggled to get my head around all the different aspects of a pose. "Palm slower, apply more pressure. Are the patient's arms at the right angle? Don't forget to look at their face to see if the stretch is too much for them."

Interestingly, where you put your own body as the masseur is also extremely important. We needed to learn when to lunge or sit on our toes. We had to remember which side of the patient's body we need to be closer to. All of these things affect the stretch and also will have a bearing on how much energy you exert. The idea is to use your body weight instead of your muscles so you don't get tired out. All in all, a hell of a lot to remember. Plus you've got to relax! "Be playful with the pose." Peter it turns out has a remarkable memory for this sort of thing and the different poses came very naturally to him. I, on the other hand, struggled bitterly. It's emotional work and by around day four I seriously wondered how I was going to make it through another eight days.

Then, remarkably, things got better. We kept practicing on the mats for six hours each day, switching partners and slowly working our way up the body from the feet to the head. Gradually I learned what to do. One sequence of moves was "twist", "broken leg", "the clock", "three lunges" and "paddle boat". A lot to remember. So I made up stories to link them together. For example, the twist breaks your leg. "What time did you break your leg?" Ah yes, the clock. "What time is it? It's time for the three lunges." After eating "lunge" (lunch) you paddle boat away. American Cloe and German Nina, both found these memory hooks helpful and together we had a lot of fun making up silly stories.

The course culminated in performing a two hour massage on a classmate. We pulled names from a hat and incredibly, Peter and I ended up working on each other. Funny how things turn out. We made it through the twelve days and although we still have a lot to learn, we now have a nice foundation to Thai massage.

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Story Time - The Three Little Pigs
(Note to the squeamish: Only read #1)

There were a lot of pigs in the Lahu village. Here are the three pig incidents that really stand out in our minds.

1) The Friendly Pig - They say pigs are smarter than dogs. It turns out they can also be extremely friendly. Peter and I made friends with a young pig who learned to recognise us. When she saw us, she shuffled over touching us with her small muddy nose, wanting to be petted. When we stroked the top of her head, she laid down beside us, completely blissed-out.

2) The Dead Pig - The Lahu people prepare their butchered pigs, by burning off the bristly hairs in a straw fire. Peter and I were lucky enough to witness the process. After the fire, we saw them scrape off the blackened top layer of skin, revealing a succession of surprising colours; yellow and then stark white. Next they gutted it, letting nothing go to waste and deftly kicking the dogs away who were desperate to get a bite. Interestingly, the gutting took place on the same cement slab where the villagers do their laundry! The most horrific thing however was the sow walking in the runoff below the platform. She couldn't see the dead pig up above as she drank the bloodied water.

3) The Little Piggies With No Balls - One morning before class I heard the most horrible squealing. I followed the noise and found a villager holding his a tiny piglet upside-down between his legs. Using a cut-throat razor, he made a small slit and deftly castrated each male in the litter. He carefully sewed them up with a needle and thread and released them to run dazed back to their angry mother. They say it makes the meat taste better.

- Chang Mai, Thailand